Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
  She worked the night shift
  Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
  She got a lot of tips
    Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room
  Fightin' with lover's past
  I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
  Dorothy was fast
    Well, I ordered - "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"
  Dorothy laughed
  She said - "It sound like a real man 2 me (U're kinda cute)
  U're kinda cute, U wanna take a bath?" (Do U wanna, do U wanna?) ... Bath?
    Oh, I said - "Cool, but I'm leavin' my pants on (What U say?)
  Cuz I'm kinda goin' with someone"
  She said - "Sound like a real man 2 me
  Mind if I turn on the radio?"
    "Oh, my favorite song," she said
  And it was Joni singing, "Help me, I think I'm falling"
  (Drring) The phone rang and she said
  "Whoever's calling can't be as cute as U"
  Right then and there I knew I was through (Dorothy Parker was cool)
    Well
    My pants were wet, they came off
  But she didn't see the movie cuz she hadn't read the book first
    Instead she pretended she was blind
  An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
  Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha, ha ha)
  I felt much better so I went back 2 the violent room
  (Tell us what U did, what U did) Let me tell U what I did
    I took another bubble bath with my pants on
  All the fighting stopped
  Next time I'll do it sooner
  This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
  (Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker)
  Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
    Well
  Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
  Well
  Oh