She'll have another piece of pie
  She'll have a double reuben rye
  She works hard at eating well
  That's why I love her
    She's got a couple of pony kegs
  Her arms are bigger than my legs
  And when she holds me I can't breathe
  That's why I love her
    I'm her butter she's my bread
  She's like a mobile waterbed
  And when I got on top of her
  I can't touch the mattress
    And when her flesh begins to sag
  She's like a human sleeping bag
  I feel so cozy, safe and warm
  She's my insulation
    I always know where she sat
  And when she's on me I get flat
  Some broken ribs a punctured lung
  That's why I love her
    She's my Phillie I'm her Stud
  Her bean is bigger than my pud
  It's like feeding a tic-tac to a whale
  That's why I love her