Joan was quizzical, studied metaphysical
  Science in the home
  Late nights all alone with a test-tube
  Ohh-oh-oh-oh...
  Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine
  Calls her on the phone
  "Can I take you out to the pictures
  Joa-oa-oa-oan?"
  But as she's getting ready to go
  A knock comes on the door...
    Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Came down upon her head
  Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Made sure that she was dead
    Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again
  Teacher gets annoyed
  Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene
  She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
  So he waits behind
  Writing 50 times "I must not be so-o-o-oo..."
  But when she turns her back on the boy
  He creeps up from behind
    Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Came down upon her head
  Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Made sure that she was dead
    B.C. Thirty-One said "we caught a dirty one"
  Maxwell stands alone
  Painting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-oh
  Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery
  Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)
  The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-oo
  But as the words are leaving his lips
  A noise comes from behind
    Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Came down upon his head
  Bang, Bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
  Made sure that he was dead